


The Librarians and a Big Scary Lizard

by MagicSpinner



Series: Conversations With Smaug [1]
Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29903667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicSpinner/pseuds/MagicSpinner
Summary: Three Librarians find themselves in a mysterious tunnel and exchange words with a dragon.
Series: Conversations With Smaug [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198814
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	The Librarians and a Big Scary Lizard

With a flash of blue light, three Librarians stumbled into the passage.

"This isn't Antarctica," said Jake.

"Where's the snow?" complained Ezekiel. "Where's the midnight sun? Where are the polar bears?"

"Polar bears? In Antarctica. Seriously, how are you a Librarian?"

"I am just as much a Librarian as you, Stone!"

Cassandra ignored them. "I keep telling Jenkins that a sufficiently large concentration of magic could destabilize the locational field, but nobody listens to me."

"We listen. We just don't understand the magical gobbledygook."

Jake turned on a small flashlight and trained it over the smooth rock walls. "This tunnel looks man-made."

"What about penguins? Are those north or south?"

"Jones..."

"Fine, fine." Ezekiel pulled out his phone. "No signal. Could be blocked by the rock, depending on how far we are underground."

Cassandra flicked her hands open in front of her face. Her eyes darted back and forth as she read an array of patterns and numbers that only she could see. "There's a relatively low level of background magic, but there are small pockets of immense magical power." She rearranged the numbers as she spoke. "If the magic achieved resonance with the door spell, the power involved could be enough to transport us to another realm."

"Are you saying we're not on Earth anymore?" said Jake.

"Let's find out."

They walked into the tunnel. It bored down into the rock in front of them, straight as a ruler. "This tunnel is a masterpiece," said Jake. "The sides are amazingly smooth. I wonder how long it took to carve?"

"Maybe they did it with magic."

"I want to know why they didn't make it taller," said Ezekiel. The Librarians had to hunch over as they walked to keep from hitting their heads on the low ceiling. Their only lights were Jake's pocket flashlight and the soft glow of Ezekiel's phone. The echoes of their shuffling footsteps cutting through the silence seemed like the loudest thing they'd ever heard.

"Is it getting warmer?" said Jake after a while.

"It is," said Cassandra. "And a little lighter. I think we're coming to the end of the tunnel."

Ezekiel lowered his phone and peered at the faint rectangle of light ahead of them. He gasped and ran forwards, only to be yanked back by Jake's hand on his collar. "Stone! There is literally a mountain of gold in that cave. Let me go to my precious beauties!"

"A tunnel, in a mountain, in a magical land, leading to a pile of treasure," said Jake. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Cassandra smiled. "That door was five feet high. And I think it was wide enough for the three of us. I suppose we know where we are now."

"I don't!" complained Ezekiel. "I just know where I'm not. I'm not in a treasure room picking out the shiniest, prettiest trinkets. Why am I not in a treasure room?"

"Why do you hide, little humans?" said a voice from the cave. "There is no need to stay in the shadows; I can smell that there are three of you."

Ezekiel shook his head. "That can't be good."

"Definitely not," said Cassandra. "But aren't you just a teeny bit curious?"

Jake was the first to step out of the tunnel, closely followed by the others. "Smaug the Tremendous, King Under the Mountain. It is an honor to stand before you."

"Is it, indeed?" Smaug snorted a gust of hot air. "Visitors do not often come into my mountain. And who are you, if I might ask?"

"I am the artist," said Jake. "I am he who hid his name to seek knowledge. I learned to speak the tongues of all who cross my path."

"And your companions? Are they also too cowardly to share their true names to the world?"

"I am the magician," said Cassandra. "I see the universe in my head and bend it to my will. I stared death in the face, and she was me."

The dragon laughed, a terrible sound that seemed to shake the cavern walls. "Death does not slink upon the ground; it flies on wings like a hurricane." His eyes gleamed red as he peered at Ezekiel. "Perhaps the third stranger is more impressive."

"I'm Ezekiel Jones, mate. Pleased to meet you."

"Ezekiel?" said Cassandra. "You're not supposed to tell him your real name."

"Why not?"

"Blighter of lands? Terror of kings? Chiefest and greatest of calamities?" Jake gestured at Smaug. "He's a dragon! You don't want him to be able to come after you."

Ezekiel scoffed. "So what? If the CIA, IRS, and that bloke from the video rental place can't track me down, how is a gigantic lizard supposed to find me?"

"The video store guy was surprisingly persistent," said Cassandra. "What did he even have against you?"

"He was under the mistaken impression that I had forgotten to return my copy of Frankenstein. I can't imagine why."

"Yeah, I don't know, man, could it be because you're a thief?" Jake practically shouted the last word.

A deep growl cut through the conversation. The Librarians fell uncharacteristically silent. "Thieves," said the dragon, "are not welcome."

"O mighty Smaug," said Jake, "we could never steal from one such as you. That is not our purpose in coming here."

"You are liars as well as thieves, I see."

"We are not thieves," said Cassandra. "We are the Librarians. We prize knowledge far above even the finest jewels."

"I like jewels!"

"Shut up Ezekiel."

"We have traveled the realms for many years. When we learned that we had come into your domain, we could not pass up the opportunity to gaze upon Smaug the Magnificent."

Gold coins cascaded to the floor as the dragon shifted his head to peer at Jake. "And now that you've seen me?"

Ezekiel edged backwards towards the tunnel. He tripped with a loud clatter but jumped up almost immediately. "We'll be sure to tell all our friends how scary you are. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Smaug! Come on," he muttered to the others. "We really don't wanna be here." He ducked into the tunnel. Cassandra and Jake exchanged horrified glances before running after him.

"Don't tell me," gasped Jake.

"Thieves!" Smaug's voice hit them with a physical force. He spouted fire up the tunnel. Cassandra yelled a spell. The shield she conjured appeared just in time to save them from being roasted by the flames.

Jake shone his flashlight on Ezekiel, who was holding a jewel-encrusted mithril mirror under one arm. "Why, Jones? Why did you have to steal from a fire-breathing dragon?"

Ezekiel waved a hand at his own face. "Do you see how pretty I am? I am way too pretty for a normal mirror! I've been wanting something fancy. Look how good my face looks next to all these jewels." He looked into the mirror, then yelped and almost dropped it.

Jenkins looked out from the mirror. "Mr. Jones. Mr. Stone. Miss Cillian. I am glad I was able to finally reach you. You were diverted to another realm, but I believe I have managed to identify your location. Are you ready to return to the Library?"

"If Cassie can keep us from being burned alive, I wouldn't mind-."

Jake shoved Ezekiel farther up the tunnel. "Nice try. We're not stealing any more of Smaug's treasure."

The Librarians made their way back to the stone door and vanished in a flash of light.

**Author's Note:**

> Some of Smaug's titles in this story come from The Hobbit. Jake's and Cassie's intros reference their backstories and character arcs. Jones' comment about gold being precious wasn't originally intended as a pun, but was embraced wholeheartedly the instant after I wrote it. The door dimensions were a reference to the map in the Hobbit: "five feet high the door, and three may walk abreast".  
> Constructive feedback welcome!


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